“Integration – YES”
“But NOT at the Cost of Losing Our IDENTITY, Our Religious Beliefs, Our VALUE SYSTEMS & Our WAY OF LIFE” – AB
Why Has Islam Prohibited Dating?
7/4/2004 2:00:00 PM GMT
http://www.islamonline.com/cgi-bin/news_service/spot_full_story.asp?service_id=758
"Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world shall not exist among Muslims -- where a man and a woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, getting to know each other in a very deep way. A man and a woman are not allowed to be alone together, and any physical contact before marriage is forbidden. Hence, Dating is not permitted in Islam.
Allah has prohibited girl/boyfriend relationships in the Qur'an
"(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ... ” - Al-Ma'idah 5:5.
If a Muslim man has the desire and willingness to assume marital responsibilities, and he doesn’t have anyone in mind, he might ask his friends, family, and relatives if there is a lady that might be suitable for him among their acquaintances and relatives, and then the couple can meet with their family members.
As a result, many marriages in the Muslim world were traditionally arranged marriages, though this is not a religious requirement. However, both couples can not be forced to accept an arranged marriage and if a man likes someone (with the intention of marriage) that he knows from work, neighborhood or acquaintances, etc… he shall propose to her.
Islam also encourages Muslims to marry persons for whom they have special feelings and are comfortable with. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
“That Would Enhance/Foster the Bonding.”
However the prospective couple shall not meet in private, this might lead to extremely unwanted situations, as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said :
“Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)..
At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. "
In conclusion, Islam lays its social structure on the basis of a permanent relationship between a man and a woman in the form of a family. Consequently, to preserve this marital relationship, it forbids all forms of temporary relationships between a man and a woman. Pre-marital relationships in Islam are not considered respectful for neither the man nor the woman, nor is it constructive for the concept or the building the family or the Islamic society.
AB
Dating - Alan Border, Mich
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Dr. Shabbir
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Dating - Alan Border, Mich
Wassalam,
SA
SA
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tammyswofford
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Dating - Alan Border, Mich
"Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them."(At Tirmidhi)
Do we know if the snad and the matn are accurate? Is this considered Sahih or possibly fabricated? Yes, I know At-Tirmidhi is considered part of the Sound Six (as-Sihaah as-Sittah)
But in looking at this, the woman is the culprit to bring Satan alongside. What if we turn it around? "Whenever a woman is alone with a man, Satan is the third among them." Why, why, oh why is the scale balanced against the woman in this Hadith? Is this a sound Hadith?
My guess is Ali bin Ali Alharbi can address this question. smile
R/ Tammy (in defense of the Muslim woman.... smile)
Do we know if the snad and the matn are accurate? Is this considered Sahih or possibly fabricated? Yes, I know At-Tirmidhi is considered part of the Sound Six (as-Sihaah as-Sittah)
But in looking at this, the woman is the culprit to bring Satan alongside. What if we turn it around? "Whenever a woman is alone with a man, Satan is the third among them." Why, why, oh why is the scale balanced against the woman in this Hadith? Is this a sound Hadith?
My guess is Ali bin Ali Alharbi can address this question. smile
R/ Tammy (in defense of the Muslim woman.... smile)
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abshoeb
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Dating - Alan Border, Mich
Salam
4:1 The noble goal of the development of human personality can be easier achieved in a benevolent society (9:111, 16:71, 43:32, 59:9). In this situation the individual and the society complement each other (14:34). At the outset, it is imperative for you, O Mankind, to know that all of you, men and women, have a common origin. Your Lord began the creation of life at the unicellular level. There was one life cell that divided into two, male and female (6:99). Evolution took place, as has been alluded to in this Book (16:8, 20:50, 21:30, 22:45, 30:20, 31:28, 51:49). Eventually, numerous men and women came into existence on the earth. Since all of you have this common origin, you must consider all mankind as one community (10:19, 57:25). Your first step in that direction is to strengthen your family relations. Be careful of your duty to Allah in Whose Name you expect rights from one another. Allah ever Watches over you.
9:71 And the believers, both men and women, are colleagues one of another. They enjoin the doing of Right and forbid the doing of Wrong (The distinction between right and wrong will never be arbitrary. The Qur’an is the eternal Criterion of what is right and what is wrong 2:185). Together, they help establish the Divine System, and set up the Just Economic Order of Zakat (9:60). This is how they obey Allah and His Messenger. These are the men and women on whom Allah will shower His Mercy. Allah is Mighty, Wise.
But Hadiths are made up of the customary practices of Jews, the racism and personality cults of Zoroastrians, and the monasticism and priesthood of the Christians. And attributed to Prophet (S)
Christian priesthood had a very unwholesome image of woman. They believed that a woman was the source of all evils, because she was the reason behind poor Adam being expelled from paradise. She was regarded as a demon, because evil existed in the world due to her. Christianity thus regarded woman as the embodiment of all evils, and was, therefore, fit to be abhorred. Based upon this image, Christ's life of celibacy was regarded as the best model. The Christians went so far as to say that a woman did not even have a soul.
As the hateful Christian image of a woman filtered into Muslim society, too. This was the period in Islamic Culture, during which women were auctioned in the market to be made into concubines, and everyone was free to buy and sell as many as he wanted, whenever he wished to. This business was legitimate according to Sharia;
These were the circumstances under which ''Sharia laws'', were formulated, and which today are called 'Islamic'. To look for human dignity or actual status of women in these laws, is to deceive oneself. To justify these laws or to make them appear authentic, claim such as the following have been concocted: A woman has a defective mind; she was born out of Adam's rib, so like the rib she will remain crooked and if you try to straighten her, she will break but will not become straight; a nation which allows a woman's opinion in matters of state and public life would perish; and so on so forth.
Ali Bin Ali Alharbi (Al Madina)
4:1 The noble goal of the development of human personality can be easier achieved in a benevolent society (9:111, 16:71, 43:32, 59:9). In this situation the individual and the society complement each other (14:34). At the outset, it is imperative for you, O Mankind, to know that all of you, men and women, have a common origin. Your Lord began the creation of life at the unicellular level. There was one life cell that divided into two, male and female (6:99). Evolution took place, as has been alluded to in this Book (16:8, 20:50, 21:30, 22:45, 30:20, 31:28, 51:49). Eventually, numerous men and women came into existence on the earth. Since all of you have this common origin, you must consider all mankind as one community (10:19, 57:25). Your first step in that direction is to strengthen your family relations. Be careful of your duty to Allah in Whose Name you expect rights from one another. Allah ever Watches over you.
9:71 And the believers, both men and women, are colleagues one of another. They enjoin the doing of Right and forbid the doing of Wrong (The distinction between right and wrong will never be arbitrary. The Qur’an is the eternal Criterion of what is right and what is wrong 2:185). Together, they help establish the Divine System, and set up the Just Economic Order of Zakat (9:60). This is how they obey Allah and His Messenger. These are the men and women on whom Allah will shower His Mercy. Allah is Mighty, Wise.
But Hadiths are made up of the customary practices of Jews, the racism and personality cults of Zoroastrians, and the monasticism and priesthood of the Christians. And attributed to Prophet (S)
Christian priesthood had a very unwholesome image of woman. They believed that a woman was the source of all evils, because she was the reason behind poor Adam being expelled from paradise. She was regarded as a demon, because evil existed in the world due to her. Christianity thus regarded woman as the embodiment of all evils, and was, therefore, fit to be abhorred. Based upon this image, Christ's life of celibacy was regarded as the best model. The Christians went so far as to say that a woman did not even have a soul.
As the hateful Christian image of a woman filtered into Muslim society, too. This was the period in Islamic Culture, during which women were auctioned in the market to be made into concubines, and everyone was free to buy and sell as many as he wanted, whenever he wished to. This business was legitimate according to Sharia;
These were the circumstances under which ''Sharia laws'', were formulated, and which today are called 'Islamic'. To look for human dignity or actual status of women in these laws, is to deceive oneself. To justify these laws or to make them appear authentic, claim such as the following have been concocted: A woman has a defective mind; she was born out of Adam's rib, so like the rib she will remain crooked and if you try to straighten her, she will break but will not become straight; a nation which allows a woman's opinion in matters of state and public life would perish; and so on so forth.
Ali Bin Ali Alharbi (Al Madina)
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tammyswofford
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Dating - Alan Border, Mich
Thank you Respected Ali bin Ali Alharbi,
We have raised (and continue to raise) our sons to treat women as ladies. The respect afforded to women, then brings protection to the offspring of the man. A happy and well-cared for wife will bring exponential gain to the household of her husband. That care is not necessarily monetary or physical comfort because not all have education or capacity for wealth. But the home environment can be a source of wealth, a place of safe pasture for families when each does their part to support the other.
V/R Tammy Swofford
We have raised (and continue to raise) our sons to treat women as ladies. The respect afforded to women, then brings protection to the offspring of the man. A happy and well-cared for wife will bring exponential gain to the household of her husband. That care is not necessarily monetary or physical comfort because not all have education or capacity for wealth. But the home environment can be a source of wealth, a place of safe pasture for families when each does their part to support the other.
V/R Tammy Swofford