Misyar marriage in Saudia

[Mubashir, Toronto]

Misyar marriage entails no rights, no obligations towards women - just companionship


Published: November 22, 2020 07:29

Samir Salama, Associate Editor Gulf News


A misyar marriage is legal across Arab countries. It is a contract under which the husband and wife give up several rights by their own free will, such as living together, equal division of nights between wives, the wife's rights to housing, and maintenance money, and the husband's right to home-keeping and access etc.


Abu Dhabi: A Saudi study confirmed the necessity of working to reduce the exorbitant costs of marriage so that some men do not have to resort to a misyar marriage for economic motives.


The thesis entitled "Attitudes of faculty members towards misyar marriage in Saudi society ... a study applied to King Saud University", by Mada Bint Abdul Rahman Al Qurashi, presented to complete the requirements for obtaining a master's degree in sociology at King Saud University, stressed the need not to exaggerate the dowry, as it is one of the main reasons for the spread of misyar marriage in Saudi society.


A misyar marriage is legal across Arab countries. It is a contract under which the husband and wife give up several rights by their own free will, such as living together, equal division of nights between wives, the wife's rights to housing, and maintenance money, and the husband's right to home-keeping and access etc.


The couple continue to live separately from each other, as before their marriage, but get together regularly, often for sexual relations in a permissible and halal manner. Although allowed in some Muslim countries, misyar is not popular with many because women lose nearly all their rights in a confidential marriage. A large number of such marriages end up in divorce.


Misyar marriage is one under which a couple get officially married in courts, but later on, the man does not complete the processes of the marriage. He doesn't add the wife under his official civil document, which is a must so that the wife gets her full official rights, sources said.


The Saudi study showed that one of the reasons for husbands resorting to misyar marriage is that women do not accept the idea of polygamy. It, however, called for women's awareness of the husband's right to marry the second, third and fourth. The study further called for conducting studies aimed at uncovering the reasons for the spread of a Misyar marriage among different segments and groups of the Saudi society in different cities of the Kingdom.


“Some Saudi men resort to misyar marriage, because they do not want to assume life responsibilities, as this marriage does not require alimony, and perhaps not having children, and the woman’s rejection of the idea of polygamy makes the husband resort to misyar marriage to avoid hurting the feelings of his first wife, and for his concern for his first family and fear of his children being lost,” the study said.


It showed that women often resort to misyar marriage, forfeiting their right to maintenance and overnight stay, in order to obtain a husband who provides her with the life needs that were difficult for her, and that most divorced women resort to misyar marriage because of their desire to marry and chastity, as well as the woman's desire to move and travel freely.


The study showed in these cases, the man normally hides his Misyar marriage from his first wife and children. Thus, he doesn't spend the night with the second wife. He only visits her during the day after work and spends some time with her without his first wife's knowledge."


She added that the girl's family also doesn't mind such marriages as they want their daughter to have someone in their lives. "In a Misyar marriage, the couple get married officially and have marriage certificate from the courts. They avoid having children, but if this happens, the children will be given their father's name and will be issued passports. The man is not obliged to spend on the wife and the children. He is exempted from paying for anything for them. However, he can pay from his own will," it said.


Arab women generally accept to get into this kind of marriage when they reach 40 years of age and above and need male companionship. These women don't want to be alone. They seek male companionship, and thus accept to get married instead of being alone. In many cases, these women are divorced or widows according to marriage counselors.


Counselors noted almost all men who seek this type of marriages are getting married for the second time.


https://gulfnews.com/world/gulf/saudi/saudi-study-shows-that-men-resort-to-misyar-marriage-to-avoid-hurting-feelings-of-the-first-wife-1.1606016415538

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Just one question. Does the Quran allows this??

[Mubaschir, Toronto]

22:39 Permission to fight is granted to those against whom war is wrongfully waged. God is Able to support them -


60:8 God does not forbid you from being kind, and fully equitable to those who do not fight you on account of Religion, and do not evict you from your homelands. God loves those who lead a just, balanced life.4


Note 4

Deen = Divinely Prescribed System of Life = Way of Life = Collective system of living = Religion


Bible


"By the standards of the time, which is the 7th century A.D., the laws of war that are laid down by the Quran are actually reasonably humane," he says. "Then we turn to the Bible, and we actually find something that is for many people a real surprise. There is a specific kind of warfare laid down in the Bible which we can only call genocide."


It is called herem, and it means total annihilation. Consider the Book of 1 Samuel, when God instructs King Saul to attack the Amalekites: "And utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them," God says through the prophet Samuel. "But kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child, ox and sheep, camel and donkey."


When Saul failed to do that, God took away his kingdom.


"In other words," Jenkins says, "Saul has committed a dreadful sin by failing to complete genocide. And that passage echoes through Christian history. It is often used, for example, in American stories of the confrontation with Indians — not just is it legitimate to kill Indians, but you are violating God's law if you do


Jenkins notes that the history of Christianity is strewn with herem. During the Crusades in the Middle Ages, the Catholic popes declared the Muslims Amalekites. In the great religious wars in the 16th, 17th and 19th centuries, Protestants and Catholics each believed the other side were the Amalekites and should be utterly destroyed.


https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124494788

[abdalaziz ariff / indiana]

My friend David Yuers, Israel –Shalom.


You are mad as hell, and we can not help it. There is a rule , when you study Qur’an- Context plus cross references is a must. Sad to say we the Muslims do not do it.


There is a verse in the Qur’an, you have to dig it out.


I recommend you go to the Wailing Wall, insert a letter and ask-we are the chosen ones, what should we do God.

The answer you will get is scary-the answer is –If you claim to be chosen one’s, then wish for death. We do not want to die, because of what our hands have sent up. This applies to all mankind-no exception.

Also when we were child , we were told by the elders, if you lie as an individual or as a tribe or as a nation- THAT IS BOUND TO HAPPEN.


Taking the verse out of context


Among several, there is one particular verse that is often used to brand Islam as a violent religion. In Verse 191 Chapter 2 of the Holy Quran, God says:

“And kill them wherever you encounter them and expel them from where they expelled you. Oppression is indeed worse than murder. Do not fight them at the Masjid Al-Haram (Ka’aba) unless they fight you therein. If they fight you, then kill them; such is the penalty of the disbelievers.”

But no one bothers to understand, even when told, that this verse was revealed when Muslims on the Hajj pilgrimage were attacked and killed by the Quraysh tribe who had signed a treaty with the Prophet to not attack the pilgrims.

The Quran has been revealed in parts over a period of 23 years to Prophet Muhammad. So, the verses are situational. Every chapter in the Quran mentions the location where the verse was sent to the Prophet. Also, the Quran is not compiled in a linear format. The same situation has been touched upon in an earlier chapter and part of it is anecdotally spoken about in a chapter much later because the Holy Quran isn’t a book of stories. It’s a book of lessons and morals.

No one mentions the verses that follow because then the Islamophobic agenda would be lost. In Verse 193 of Chapter 2, God says: “And fight them until there is no more oppression and the religion is for God, but if they cease, then no aggression is permitted except against the transgressors.”


How is this any different from Lord Krishna telling Arjun in the Bhagavad Gita to fight as his dharmic duty?

BG 2.33: “अथ चैत्त्वमिमं धर्म्यं संग्रामं न करिष्यसि। ततः स्वधर्मं कीर्तिं च हित्वा पापमवाप्स्यसि। (O Arjuna! If you do not fight for this religion and turn away from your religion, then you will lose your fame and glory).” Surely, Hindus will know the context.


From Gita to Bible to Torah

The Biblical Old Testament, too, tells believers to go to war.

Deuteronomy 20:1-4: “When you go out to war against your enemies, and see horses and chariots and an army larger than your own, you shall not be afraid of them, for the Lord your God is with you, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. And when you draw near to the battle, the priest shall come forward and speak to the people and shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel, today you are drawing near for battle against your enemies: let not your heart faint. Do not fear or panic or be in dread of them, for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory’.”

Or how different is it from the Torah’s verses that speak of genocide and pillage?


Numbers 31:1-10 say: The LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “Avenge the Israelite people on the Midianites; then you shall be gathered to your kin.” Moses spoke to the people, saying, “Let men be picked out from among you for a campaign, and let them fall upon Midian to wreak the LORD’s vengeance on Midian. You shall dispatch on the campaign a thousand from every one of the tribes of Israel.” ... “The Israelites took the women and children of the Midianites captive, and seized as booty all their beasts, all their herds, and all their wealth. And they destroyed by fire all the towns in which they were settled, and their encampments.”

Surely, the true followers of these religions will speak up against anyone seeking to use these verses out of context and painting their religion as violent?


But only Muslims are picked on and their beliefs targeted. We refuse to be apologetic about our religion. And we will protest democratically against these disgusting cartoons that further spread Islamophobia. Acts of terror cannot justify offensive cartoons as a symbol of liberty.

[Badar Habib US]

Instead of responding to the original blog, your disrespectful attitude directed towards me reflects nothing but your upbringing.


Very Respectfully yours

[Jimmy Jamshaid, TX]

[Badar Habib US]

Tombs of the Patriarch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c_PkRMqPH4


The Tombs of the Patriarchs: Abraham, Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca. (Hebron)


2. Are people worshipping these graves?

(No, I have not heard from anyone who have visited the holy land, worshipping these graves)


3. If grave worship in your view, is the reason, then why is our Messenger's tomb intact?

(I do not have sufficient knowledge to answer this question.)

[Dr Shabbir, Florida]

Mu'min Bhai,


Not at all!


TWO/THREE/FOUR WIVES

Very often in the Qur’an 'You' pertains to, and addresses, the Muslim society.


A fabricated hadith ascribed to Hazrat Ayesha tells us that if you fear that you could not do justice with the wealth of the widows and orphans, marry other women of your choice 2,3,4 (And let the widows and orphans die on the street).

Here is the Qur’anic Truth:


4:3 If you fear that the society shall not be able to do justice with orphans, (as may happen in times of war and political turbulence, the government shall announce a state of Emergency). In order to accommodate widows and orphans, men of sound finances and character shall be encouraged to marry these widows; two, three, and four (4:127). If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly, then you must not take additional wives, and may continue with what you already have (4:129). This will prevent injustice and financial hardship. (Second marriage during peacetime is a FRANK violation of the Qur’an)